Accomplishments

So, I sat and announced to the world at large that I was setting myself a goal. And in this announcement, I indicated I might fail. I indicated I would struggle, work hard, falter, steady myself and walk on.

In the end, I think this is exactly what I have done.

Yes, I understand the goal was to write a blog post a day. And yes, I understand that I did not write a blog post a day.

Here's what I did do:

I thought about writing every single day. I sat down to my computer to write at least half of the days. I discussed my writing with everyone close to me. Every time a thought occurred to me that seemed shareable, I started formulating in my head and eventually put at least a couple of sentences down somewhere. I made notes in my phone while laying half naked on an examination table in the doctor's office, waiting to see a specialist.

What, ultimately, did I accomplish?

I accomplished allowing my writing free. I opened up my heart and my mind to let the ideas flow through me. I walked away from conversations so I could write. I wrote several posts that I simply haven't yet gotten up the gumption to share.

And I posted more blogs in one month than I had posted in the previous six.

So, while yes, you're correct, I didn't exactly meet the goal of writing something and publishing it every single day for thirty days, I did accomplish what I wanted to accomplish.

To get in the habit of writing. To open myself up and let myself flow free. To publish some things that I thought were utter crap and to publish some of the most intimate knowledges of myself I ever shared with any single person, I shared with the entire world.

My writing itself may not have improved over the last thirty days, but I did.

I became a better person with more self-understanding and I wouldn't trade that for all the blog posts in the world.

The Process

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." --Maya Angelou

Since starting to become a more avid blog writer earlier this year, I've noticed many things about the writing process.

First and foremost: I must have an idea. Something that is percolating in my brain, bubbling constantly. When it reaches the boiling point, it must come out, be it through my mouth or through my fingers, it doesn't matter. These words MUST be spoken.

Second: The idea must be purged all at once, without interruption. If I take the time to edit or walk away from the writing for too long, the idea dies, possibly never to be revived. Same with speaking. Interruption, too many questions off topic and the idea dies or perhaps changes form; but the idea as it was is no more.

Third: This is pertinent to the written word only. A minimum of one sleep must exist between the purging and the sharing with the world at large. If this sleep is not given, the idea is presented too raw and undigestible. Such happened with the very first post to this blog. I wrote most of it, got interrupted, gave it a quick review and hastily decided to publish. I've debated many times going back and editing it, but that would defeat the purpose of this blog: authenticity. I authentically learned a blogging lesson. :-)

Fourth: These ideas that I have that I share, through written or spoken word are not mine to keep. This is why they bubble and boil and demand to be shared with the world. There is no feeling more satisfying that taking a piece of myself and sending it out into the world and watching what happens to it. Thankfully, none of my ideas have ever been used for ill. If that day ever comes, I might change my mind. Until then, it stands.

Fifth: Whichever format the idea takes, written or spoken, tends to be its final form. If I have an idea percolating and I get into a discussion about it, it will never make it to print. Perhaps its shape will change and then it becomes a new idea that gets written, but either way, whichever form an idea is released into the world is the form in which it must remain.

Sixth: While feedback is appreciated, it is never necessary. This blog is not for an individual, it is for the world. Once the ideas are released, they are out there, whether you read them or not, whether you like them or not. This does not mean I do not love you, dear reader. As I said in FAMILY, "All human beings are granted an automatic amount of love and respect out of me, not because they deserve it or because they have earned it, but simply because they exist." So you have my love and I do value and treasure what you have to say, what you think, and what you feel. But this blog is not for you. At the same time, of course, it is for you. And you, you, you, you, and you. I'm sure you get the point.

Seventh: Some ideas never make it into the world. They percolate too long, too hard, they become a topic of self conversation and are never shared. To me, this is a shame. All of these ideas deserve a chance to be breathed into being and shared with the world. I simply never know when one idea will have just the right impact at just the right moment on just the right person.

Now, you may think from what I have just said that I am indicating all of my thoughts are important and/or superior. Not at all. All ideas that percolate in all heads deserve to be breathed into life and shared with the world. Some, we wish had never been shared, I'm sure we can think of some historical figures that had ideas that were just plain awful for the world. On the other hand, if more people--people like me and people like you--if more of US shared our ideas with the world, perhaps we would simply overwhelm those other guys or we would see such fantastic change in the world that the kind of ideas that hurt just don't have a chance to catch on. They get out into the world and the thinker gets the help they need, the love they're missing. I know, I know, there I go with my rose colored glasses again. Just remember, like I said in Collecting Children, perhaps I'm not the one with glasses, perhaps those who don't see the world this way are wearing gray-tinted ones that make the world look bleak. ;-)