Every once in awhile, I re-write songs in my head to match particular situations.
*sung to the tune of "Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel*
Hello pain, my old friend
You've come to talk with me again
Because a sensation softly creeping,
Left its marks while I was sleeping
And the throbbing that was planted in my brain
And echoes through the nerves in my body
In restless sleep, I tossed and turned
Hoping one side would hurt less
'Neath the cover of my blanket
I broke a sweat and said "fuck it."
When my back was stabbed by the flash of a sharp pain
That split my soul
And touched the sound of chronic pain
And in the naked pain I saw
10,000 people, maybe more
People judging that I take pain meds
People judging if my pain is severe
People deciding for me
Whether I should hurt at all
And to what degree,
Missing the point of chronic pain
"Fools," said I, "You do not know,
Pain like a cancer grows:
It consumes all your energy,
Painkillers change your personality."
But my words, like silent raindrops fell,
On the ears of those who do not know severe chronic pain.
And I sat betrayed by my body
While my mind crumbled to nothing
I became less tolerable to be around
Angry and frustrated with myself
I just want to function normally,
Have my personality
And be done with mood swings...
I want the motivation stolen by chronic pain.